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dyingrosepetal

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Plural [12 Aug 2004|04:26pm]
Yup. latnight in mine me and lauren were talking about the word plural hahaha and we turned iain into an x-man. he looked luffly though. hehehe Iain ish teh bestest. hahaha i cant really think of anything else to type to be honeast. samm got her tongue pierced AND tis only 5 days till i get my hug. i want matty to come online so i can show him my hair on my webcam hahaha god i luff my hair. speshifully since now it's actually clean. mmmmm softttt
Sleeping On My Grave

David [11 Aug 2004|07:59pm]
Well as you know i totally hate david he can read this and he can piss off. It needs to be sorted he's a twat and he knows it. go slit your wirsts go die you stupid idiotic fuck. Lauren was nothing but herself with you. I've tried to ignore act like i dont know you but you take it way to far. If you're gonna bitch about lauren come to me and do it ok! i'm the one who ruined it all not her she did fuck all. Bitch at me if you feel the need to bitch at someone. The only reason you dont do it is cause you dont get the attention you want. you get bitched at right back and it isnt gonna stop either you need to wake up and see this is the real world. Not a world for sad pathetic attention whores like you you stupid bastard wake up to reality and realise YOU ARE GONNA GET BITCHED AT dont expect to bitch at my friends without me coming to you and saying something. wether its on the dolls board or through e-mail. Even if i have to send you a fucking letter or appear on your doorstep you'll get fucking bitched at you moron!
Sleeping On My Grave

meh oooook [11 Aug 2004|10:27am]
Lauren is coming over today, the whole callam thing is sorted..dont like him as much as i thought i did but he's still one of my bestest friends everrrrrrr so i still love him loads just for being him. I've decided imgonna copy lauren and do one of those friend thingys hehehe. and hey! only 6 days till i get my hug off matty cant wait now wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Everythings going pretty cool. hope matty comes online soon so i can talk to him. pity kate couldnt come to the gig though she would have enjoyed it :(
Sleeping On My Grave

my hat [10 Aug 2004|11:58am]
hehehe here's a pic of my hat that i got for my bday off nickylaa :D i luff it lots tis my baby :D

1 comment|Sleeping On My Grave

its so hard to see when your eyes are rolling [09 Aug 2004|09:34pm]
[ mood | happy ]

yeah im listening to atreyu! had a pretty boring day..sorted some stuff out with callam, disccused the weather with nickylaa and thats about it til half 5 when me n sam went to rent movies! hehehe!!!! yey =D we rented house of 1000 corpses. totally shit but funny as fuck lol. yeah the man at the start says "fried chicken bork bork bork bork" hehehe so me and samm were doin that for the rest of the movie. felt like it went on for a year was only on for about 2 hours! then samm started sortin shiz out with lee (i would normally say about this in the past few comments but samm trusts me not to share it with the public. and it's really none of your business) also we annoyed Matty with chickens until sammy remembered he doesnt like chicken! I felt really bad after!! :( so unfair! got home, sent matty an e-mail saying sorry about annoying him! he knows i luff him lol hehehe =D ooo iains online! "hey iain hunneh *waves*" hehe yeah...erm..what was i talking about? oh yeah matty. hopefully he'll accept my apology and see the funny side of it! only 8 days til i see hima nd good news!!! kate is coming to the gig woohoo! gonna have to find a way to get that all sorted. me n lauren will sort it we always find a way around this kinda stuff! well my mam n dad are getting ready to go out. well my mam has to take my dad to work. thats all i can think to say so im just gonna leave it there. so till next time goodbye xxxxxx

Sleeping On My Grave

Me and my big mouth [09 Aug 2004|02:21pm]
[ mood | total shit ]

Will i ever learn? i was talking to callam today and i told him i still really love him which is true..i dont quite love him as much as matty i dont think i;ll love anyone as much as i love matty but i do still really love Callam. What we had didnt work our. Probably because we didnt get the chance to see each other. He livs in nottingham and me in durham so a break up was expected but i didnt think it would come so soon.

Matty ish sexy<3 Me luffs Matty he's mine. This is the end of everything...you are the end of everything... says:
i think i love you
†I, The Uncrowned Lord†...Coco! Oooooh What's That Sum, That Added Up To Nothing 'cause You're Much Too Dumb... I LOVE RUTHIE! says:
like, really?
Matty ish sexy<3 Me luffs Matty he's mine. This is the end of everything...you are the end of everything... says:
yeah.. ...still...i guess it never went away..from all the time ago
†I, The Uncrowned Lord†...Coco! Oooooh What's That Sum, That Added Up To Nothing 'cause You're Much Too Dumb... I LOVE RUTHIE! says:
oh...
Matty ish sexy<3 Me luffs Matty he's mine. This is the end of everything...you are the end of everything... says:
Why the cry?
†I, The Uncrowned Lord†...Coco! Oooooh What's That Sum, That Added Up To Nothing 'cause You're Much Too Dumb... I LOVE RUTHIE! says:
because me lost you!

thats some of the convo today but i have just been a rewad bitch and told him he's better off without me which he is i mean come on. Everyone is better off without me im not worth life nor am i worth spit but i really miss how things used to be. If i keep talking to him and stuff i know i'll feel even worse...but no one can beat my feels for matty and thats what hurts the most. now im talking shit. argh kill me someone

xxx

Sleeping On My Grave

fuck me sideways motherfucking bean sprout!!!!!!!!!!!!! [08 Aug 2004|09:18pm]
ok WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?!? ME AND LAUREN HAVE GOT ALL THE LUCK THIS YEAR! WHAT AN ORGASMIC YEAR!

ok so we got matty,
ville,
joey,
corey,
HIM guitaris with lush hair!
then lauren gets to see Rob Flynn!!! OH MY GOD! *orgasm*

fuck me!!!!! holy shit this isnt real...i need to calm down
2 comments|Sleeping On My Grave

[08 Aug 2004|01:30pm]
yey i just got "The distant and the spoilt" published to a website and now its copyright :D holy fuck yey!!!! hahahahahahaha and im wearing odd sockies
1 comment|Sleeping On My Grave

re-owned & The distant and the spoilt [08 Aug 2004|12:05pm]
Re-Owned

The scars on your arms,
The tears down your cheeks,
I hold you close,
I am the first and only to love you,
Eyeliner so thick,
Eyes so deep,
Skin so pale,
Not another human would recognize,
The poor beauty in my arms right now,
The torment and torture,
Heartbreak is no fail for you,
But i'm here now,
I will love you.

hehe :)

The distant and the spoilt

The hollow soul of a ruined person,
No life left for the loved,
Spoilt and left to rot away,
The distant are left,
They are the ones who stay strong,
Full with anger,
Blinding rage,
As the spoilt have no heart,
The distant need their heart to love those,
To love those they have never been loved by,
The dark corners of a room,
The darkness falls upon you,
Making the distant seem so worthy of love,
To see the love so close....
Sleeping On My Grave

[08 Aug 2004|10:52am]
hahaha woooo my brothers asleep on the couch. I'm eating tuna. not much going on today, waiting for matty to come online he probably wont be on till later tonight! oooo god not long till my hug now :o I cant wait for my hug off iain either he so better get pink dreads or he's DEAD
Sleeping On My Grave

Hugs all around [08 Aug 2004|10:12am]
[ mood | happy ]

Yey!! I cant wait for my hug from Matty! What is it now? 9 days haha woooop. Though i'll probably really piss him off in the 8 days i gots left leaving him to think im a total bitch and he wont wanna come near me let alone hug me but hopefully i wont do that cos me luffs him very much hehe. Maddie was saying she doesnt know how nor why he would not want to go out with me. And my friend from america was saying matty is lucky so have me drooling over him haha and he doesnt see why he wont go out with me either. I think the only person that does see it is me =S. Meh i'm happy just being good friends with him THOUGH it does tear me apart inside haha but who cares as long as matty is happy :D I'm still not sure if he understands yes but i think he realises a little more about my feelings for him. Lauren helped muchlie and i luff my Lauren soooooooo much she's a real good friend <33 luff you! hahaha i think simon said a little too much lastnight for his own good. i think i'll end this here and type a little more up at about half 10 :P bye xxxx

Sleeping On My Grave

you [08 Aug 2004|12:19am]
[ mood | disappointed ]

I think about you when i sleep at night, you're always in my dreams. When i blink i see you, smiling, so happy. Surley you arn't always this happy. Maybe dull at times, to see you frown would kill me inside more than loving you does already. Not a single second goes past i dont hear your name in my head. The creation of a perfect beauty...theres only one way to describe you...and that word in unique. At times i dont even know if that's good enough..you are just you. your self with your own beliefs. Not a single second nor a single day when i dont wish to be in your arms. To hear you telling me it'll be ok and we'll get through this together. This love is so deep it kills me. I just want to be with you...all i want is to be with you...just...you.

Yup guess who this was wrote about :)
It isnt as good as i could be so i'm kinda dissapointed in that

Sleeping On My Grave

hehehe [07 Aug 2004|11:51pm]
[ mood | happy ]

well my mam n dad are on there way home, simon comfortaded me. I luff him! hehehe. Matty ish a real babe i love him sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much hehehe. Go on http://storage.msn.com/s1pZ8pl_R1n1zHVrOl09BFr6HmIqmbQrI-zidG0ap1kLT2GjotC4m2qep-7SD8HkFV1emX_ShT5EUQfjNwTrFZdCQ/00.jpg?MdToken=129221239032569

hahaha its a piccy of him i did hahaha he's so fuckin' luffly! 17th couldnt come sooner! I NEED MY HUG HAHAHA *mWaH* im so fucking happy :D only thing could make me better is matty coming on again. ohhhhh hehehe

Sleeping On My Grave

*cries* [07 Aug 2004|07:11pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

I just wanna cry, go in the kitchen get a knife and ran it through my chest. Fucking everything just FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. ARGH I luff him so much it hurts me so much JUST KILL ME! this is really short but i think you get the idea that i'm not in a very good mood today and i'm trying my hardest not to bitch at people. I just ran ro bet would you believe <33333 I luff it so much But it remindes me of Matty so much :(

Sleeping On My Grave

[07 Aug 2004|04:01pm]
just fucking kill me seriously. If you dont do it i'll probably end up killing myself this seriously sucks why the fuck is this happeneing all because i love someone? If he knew how i felt i would probably feel better but he doesnt even like me for fucks sake.What the fuck is going on here? He's so special to me, he thinks i only like his hair! but seriously how can i think im that shallow? for gods sake WHY?! what's the fucking point. What am i talking about? I luff you matty more than anyone else and i dont give a shit what you nor anyone else thinks. I dont know how im feeling right now i just want to be dead. David has sucked all the life from me just leaving me lying to bleed....all my blood will soon run dry but still the love will linger. argh i feel like burning this hat, chopping my hair off, killing joey, stopping all over lauren, kicking the shit out of my computer and slapping matty silly. Pretty much destroying everything i love. nothing else matters anymore i just want matty to understand how i feel. I know none of this has made sence nor do you give a fucking fuck but i just want him to understand :( PLEASE JUST UNDERSTAND stop this hurt its tearing me apart..i'm almost torn
Sleeping On My Grave

It's crazy... [07 Aug 2004|03:45pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

Life can hold my hand forever someday it's just gonna have to let me go.

Meh fuck you bitch. Damn you to hell. Fuck joey, cut my hair off, kill me, slice me up, torture me. Nothing could hurt more than loving matty.

Make me die, torture and kill, stop this pain, Stop the torment, end the anger, the cutting wasnt just for thrill it was for him...

Argh...I'm so pissed off. Matty doesn understand exactly how i feel. That everything i say im being serious to him about, he just shurgs it off i guess. He doesnt understand how much i luff him and that it really does hurt, i guess i've never had a proper convosation with him either. i always end it with saying soething funny so that last thing he says is lol. He doesnt piss me off but alot of other things really do argh i dont know why but i just wanna curl up and cry


xxx

Sleeping On My Grave

how much do i listen to would you believe :o [06 Aug 2004|07:06pm]
[ mood | silly ]

I listened to it for 5 hours non-stop the other day. Today 3 hours non stop! i just cant get enough of it! i so want it played at my funeral! AND my wedding :o Oh god hell yes \m/

Sleeping On My Grave

.......fly said the angel..... [06 Aug 2004|06:03pm]
[ mood | giggly ]

Meh. I got bored so i decided to write a whole section thingy on Matty. Yes because i luff him so much :D He might not like me but meeeeehhhhh!!!!! hahaha. Yeah i luff him he's my baby we're gonna get married! He said i can live with him when he's famous n i can have his babies! I'm gonna get a hug off him at the gig! Well i better get a bloody hug off him otherwise i'm not bloody going. It's not as if oim just going for the hug though. He's all happy and smiley and he just cheers you up and makes you smile just by looking at him. *shivers* brrr. hehehe. Oh he's so perfect. An angel...a....a...a Matty :)

Sleeping On My Grave

Sooo unfair [06 Aug 2004|08:31am]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Thursday was great though I think I pretty much ruined the day by being a really moody bitch. Pfft. I got like... Loads of hugs off Simon it was so kool. He's so really nice and sweet :) Aww bless him hehehe. I cried even more this time than I did last! I wanted to hold onto Nic and Simon forever I didnt want to get on the bastard train. Meh.. I can't wait to see Matty :D I didn't get to talk to him much lastnight I went away crying lol. Dumb me eh? Oh well. I'll see him and I think I actually have the guts to ask for a hug! I mean why not? He's a really good friend of mine so Blah :D Lauren will be there to support me anyway :) Oh bah! I got myself thinking of Matty again now. Can't do any harm i suppose. Ohhh god why me? Why do i have to find him to be the most perfect person around. So funny and cute and sweet and..ergh..perfect. *cries* Meh! Pooeh! I just really can't wait to see him on the 17th! I just wish it was sooner. I'll come home crying probably lmao. That would be weird. Me getting pulled off him and dragged into the car screaming and crying. WHY THE FUCK CAN I IMAGIN THAT :O I bet Lauren can imagin that too lmao. Oh i feel all weird just thinking about seeing him! Heheheh mooooo. hahahahahahhahaha skinny anorexic girl uses mirical grow *nods*

2 comments|Sleeping On My Grave

Moochie :D [04 Aug 2004|06:32pm]
my pet!
2 comments|Sleeping On My Grave

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